Simply said, I’d like for Master and I to have a kinky session (or more) where we actively talk before each activity, during the activity, and immediately after the activity. And I’d like us to engage in multiple different activities during the session.
Our discussion would focus on what we’re about to do, why it is desirable, the context and demeanor required, and any other specifics that we think we need to disclose. We then encourage each other to speak up if, during the activity, we have thoughts. Then we try it. Once we’re done, we speak about the outcome, what worked, what could be improved and what did not.
The difference here from normal is that the primary focus will be on the sharing of information, with the activity itself being the secondary focus. Normally, when we do this, we let the activity become the primary and so we don’t talk all that much until later, after the entire scene is done.
To be certain, this will ruin the activity. But the hope is that the knowledge we share will make future sessions WAY better.
The challenge, as I see it, is that Master and I are highly charged and all it takes is a spark in the wrong place to ignite a blaze. We must enter into this with the idea that we will both fail. By that I mean, that Master and I will fail to take the input of the other constructively, and instead become defensive. I feel that we have to approach this with truly open hearts, put aside our egos, and listen to the other when they feel there is something to say. And just because we both truly listen does not mean that we can necessarily comply, and neither of us should feel undue pressure to do so. Yes, feel pressure to try, but to not presume that if we fail that all is lost. That kind of self-inflicted pressure is harmful. Let’s find a way through together, hand in hand.
