Ideas

COMMIT

I feel Master needs to commit to being in charge. That she must resist any inclination to relinquish her authority or ownership for any reason. She is either in charge, or she is not; there is no in-between. I desperately wish for her to be in charge. If it comes to be, it is my absolute belief that we will both be our happiest.

When Master makes a rule, I feel she must track compliance and effect punishment if she sees a lack of compliance. Therefore, any rules she creates should be ones she truly cares about. This only applies to longstanding rules (those rules that last for two weeks or more). For rules, directives, and orders she creates in the moment, ones that last only until they are completed, I assume she will be actively keen on those and will be watching and confirming compliance.

PUNISHMENT

Punishment should not be optional if failure occurs. Master has three ways to effect punishment:

• [non-physical] Admonishment, lecture, assignment of additional chores.
• [quasi-physical] If chastity is in place, denial of sexual release for a given period.
• [physical] Corporal punishment.

All are valid, all have their place, and I absolutely consent to all of the above.

Most important of all is that Master must, internally, accept the rationale of all activities (in the context of my compliance). Her authority, her ownership, her rules, the need for compliance, and the need for some form of punishment; all of these she can’t simply do only because I suggested them, she must own her decisions to incorporate them.

Master might envision another kind of life, one without power exchange, but we tried that, and we failed, miserably. This is the life that can bring us closer together and provide us both with great happiness, or so I believe. But we can’t succeed if this is all just a play to Master. Master must walk through every aspect and rationalize it such that she accepts its necessity and benefits. For any aspect she can’t rationalize and come to own, she should not proceed with that aspect.

But we must be cautious about discarding elements. This all hangs together as a whole. To drop one aspect will have significant consequence. For example, if Master does not embrace corporal punishment, then she will have no means for addressing emotional responses when they are triggered. Without the ability to address emotional triggers, she will not feel in charge, nor will I feel that she is in charge, and so begins the complete breakdown of what we’re trying to build here. A delayed response to emotional triggers, or a response that does not attempt to overwrite the emotional connection, is doomed to fail. Emotional responses are not something which can be addressed with a rational approach, as these response themselves are irrational. This is what sets them apart from general failures (such as forgetfulness, or prioritizing what I want over what Master wants).

If Master does not employ chastity, then she has no significant non-corporal means of disciplining. Sure, she can lecture and assign additional chores, but other than my desire to comply, what ensures I will comply with the punishment? Chastity goes to my fundamental biological nature. It will hurt me greatly, in a non-corporal way, to be denied sexual release. Taking a hacksaw and cutting off the lock of my cage is a MAJOR step that I would never do unless I felt Master had abandoned me. My great desire/need for sexual release would cause me to comply and fix the failure that precipitated my denial.

And then, what does Master do when I have failed, but she sees it was an honest simple mistake, not likely to be duplicated? That’s when she has admonishment, lecturing, and possibly assignment of additional chores. Without this, she has no choice but to deny sexual release or effect corporal punishment (assuming those options were retained).

So all three types of punishment are valuable and have their place; the removal of any one of them will have significant negative consequences, or so I feel is the case.

LEADERSHIP & OWNERSHIP

But I perceive Master’s primary problem is one even deeper, and that is her, as of yet, inability to accept leadership.

All I can say is that I have witnessed this authority in her all our lives together. It is only now that it is being identified explicitly that she appears to balk. She has what it takes, and it does not take much.

Master must decide what she wants, convey it, and I conform or receive punishment. She will, I promise, never witness me not wishing to conform. I’m not a ‘brat’; someone who disobeys in order to get attention. I wish to comply. But I am a human being, and as such I’m flawed. Sometimes, I may put my own desires ahead of hers; either knowingly or subconsciously. In general, so long as I feel that Master is in charge, she can expect complete compliance. But I need to regularly feel her authority.

The one area which I do not have control over is emotional outbursts that are rooted in our 25-years of general misery together. I need help in this regard. In this, I am begging for Master’s help. I need her to respond with severe corporal punishment if, and when, such outbursts occur.

But other than this, Master should expect no acts of non-compliance except in cases where I am beginning to feel she is not really in charge. And in these cases, it does not mean deliberate non-compliance, it just means that I am not feeling her authority and so I am left to wonder if any of this matters to her, and so I might as well do what I want.

Let me repeat one very key statement I made above: I am 100% committed to serving Master and making her happy. But I need regular reminders of her authority so that I know she remains engaged and in charge. And regular reminders does not mean necessarily something over-the-top. It can be as simple as calling me to her side and having me kneel and kiss her feet. Or it can be giving me a quick task for which it is clear she could just as easily perform, but she’s doing it to show her authority. Or maybe I speak to her and forget to include an honorific, and she calls me out for it. It is any act that, in its execution, makes it clear who is in charge and who is not.

EMBRACE HER ROLE

But Master can do none of this if she does not embrace the fact that I wish to serve her in all ways, and for her to accept her authority and ownership of me. We both fulfil our roles, and we’re going to be golden together!

I also believe Master, outside of any earned reward time, should enforce that all sex is on her terms, her way, and for her benefit, and to not provide me any sexual release. For reward time, it MUST be truly earned; I feel lessened when I sense that I am being given a treat I did not earn. I often get the sense that I am tended to out of some sense of obligation. This should never happen; feeling that way is a negative that will tear away at our relationship. I must earn her favor. I want to believe that she genuinely feels I have earned some of her time and sacrifice. Then, and only then, is when she bends herself a little bit to have sex with me the way that I most like; which means an equal split of physical, emotional, and psychological exploration. The other 160-166 hours of the week, we should live HER WAY, and her way only.

IDEAS