Relevant Background
We engage in what we refer to as ‘permanent chastity’. What this means to us is that I wear Master’s cage continuously until she desires access to her cock. And the moment she has finished with her cock, it is re-secured. Master’s cock and balls, as well as the cage components are cleaned thoroughly every time it is released. For us, permanent chastity is not a means to long term denial, but rather a method of control and a means to channel sexual energies.
There are four primary rules within the Agreement to which Master and I have committed that are relevant to my thoughts on Chastity that follow. It should also be noted, rather than repeating this for each item, that we agreed that a violation of any one of these edicts will result in punishment.
- I may never request, or seek, to have Master’s cage removed, without her express permission.
If I am ever in pain or discomfort due to her cage, I am to advise her so that she may determine the proper course of action.
This rule is intended to cover whining about any desire to be freed, and unauthorized searches for the key or its backup.
There are two exceptions to this rule:- Health & Safety
Obviously, for situations where health and safety are involved, we have agreed that this edict is waived. - Authorized Access
Doctor’s visit, waxing, travel through metal detectors (but then will switch to plastic cage and numbered plastic ties), or participation in some sports and exercises. Additionally, if her cock has not been released for a week, I’m to request release for the sole purpose of cleaning cock, balls, and cage components.
- Health & Safety
- I may never directly or indirectly touch Master’s cock for sexual pleasure, or allow another to do so, without her express permission.
This is true unless she directs me otherwise. This edict is in effect whether I am caged or not. This includes direct touch, such as with a part of a body, or indirect touching using other objects. - I may never orgasm without Master’s express permission.
Master, and only Master, will decide if and when I am to orgasm, and any command from her to do so must be explicit and unambiguous. Any orgasm realized is to be seen as a gift and shall be immediately followed by the proper demonstration of appreciation and submission. - I may never request permission to orgasm.
I may neither ask directly, indirectly, hint at it, nor use euphemisms. However, at Master’s whim I may be commanded to beg for them from time to time.
How I Perceive Chastity Without the Context of Our Relationship
Outside of our relationship, I would never enter into chastity. I receive no pleasure from it whatsoever. I can’t fuck and I can’t masturbate. As a virile male, I have no interest in either of those realities. This should be obvious to anyone I would think. But I realize women are not possessed of the massive sexual drive of men. Also, I see many services that offer men the ability to go into chastity, where the service will hold the key for a pre-determined time. That shit is c-r-a-z-y to me! I would never do such a thing. My cock and my right hand have seen me through some tough times. Not to mention the fact that I like to fuck!
So to be clear, outside of the relationship Master and I share, I find nothing of value in chastity and would never engage in it on my own. Zero interest. Not even a little bit. Hopefully that is crystal clear.
How I Perceive Chastity Within the Context of Our Relationship
While not positive on this, I believe chastity could save our relationship. Or at least, I feel it has the power to save us.
In our past, I drove our sexual interaction. As the one with the sex drive, and a product of a patriarchal society, I took what I wanted when I wanted it. I never forced her, but I did coerce her. This, eventually, came to result in a largely transactional relationship. As a general rule, if I were being nice or doing things that would make her happy, a large part of my drive in doing so was that I wanted to get laid. I’m not saying that I was purely selfish, as I have always cared about and found pleasure in making her happy. But I also wanted a lot of sex! It came to the point that, even if I executed a truly selfless task (selfless in my heart, mind, and groin), it was almost certainly perceived as me having done it to get sex. While this transactional construct isn’t evil, it places a heavy burden on her to respond with sexual reward, even when she might prefer otherwise.
Chastity does many things, but first and foremost, it helps to level the playing field. As a result of being in chastity, I must control my thinking and my emotions. Erections while caged often bring pain. I had no idea, until I went into chastity, just how many horny thoughts I have each day. I tell ya, I’m a fucking machine! 🙂 But in chastity, my body and mind work together (eventually… and mostly) to keep things somewhat in check. For example, I no longer write erotica when in chastity (or if I do, I write a sentence and then take a cold shower before writing the next; I’m exaggerating, but you get the gist). I no longer look at pornography as it is just painful. I adapt to keep my erotic thoughts contained. About the only time this fails me is when I get early morning wood, which sadly is every..fucking..morning! But a quick piss and the pain largely subsides; if not, then a cold shower is next in order. But the point here is that my sex drive is put into a box… or even, a ‘cage’, one might say. And while it is still greater than Master’s sex drive, it eventually becomes smaller as a result. And even more importantly, only Master has the key to that cage. So no matter what, that cage is not going to get opened until and unless she agrees to do so.
This should empower Master. Especially since we have rules against me asking to be released. Master is never pestered. I’m secured. Any pressure she feels to take care of my needs is created solely by herself, and therefore she has direct control over that pressure.
One of the ways in which I feel Master could improve the benefits she receives from chastity is to have very clear criteria for what is required before she will allow me to experience sexual release. She should feel no pressure for those criteria to be anything other than what she wants them to be. While it might help to share that criteria with me, she is under no obligation to do so. She just needs to let me know where her bar is, and to not relent and give me sexual release unless I hit that bar.
As her husband, I feel that she owes me intimacy, human touch, love, and kindness. I feel she should have sexual intimacy with me at least once a week, and ideally two-to-four times. But I do not feel that she owes me orgasms. Those are the treats she hands out only when her pet has a been a good boy. And if I have been a good boy, then I’d like her to not be stingy with the treats; drain me please, not just once or twice but as many times as we can during the reward period window. I an three hour window I could easily cum 3 times, quite likely 4, and maybe 5; beyond that is unlikely in that short of a window.
She owes it to herself to remove this sense of obligation to get me off, and to instead set a bar for granting me sexual release. Only then will she begin to feel in charge. Otherwise, I can only imagine it must feel like she has the bull by its tail, but no real control whatsoever. Today, quite honestly, I feel like Master is more my bitch than me hers. And a lot of that can be traced back to me feeling that she just gives out orgasms any time she feels I’m moody or it’s “been a while”. I NEED to earn them. But once I have earned them, I need her to perform well and have great deep intimate kinky sex that drains my balls completely. Keep in mind, that this is desired because for the rest of the week, all sex is for primarily her benefit, with no sexual release for me. And Reward Periods are not guaranteed. If I do not please her enough to earn her favor, we will have kinky intimate sex, but I will remain in my cage most likely and will definitely be denied sexual release.
I see chastity as the most clear, pure, and unquestionable expression of my love and devotion for Master.
It’s a sacrifice of my base instinctive nature. It’s not a game to me. Quite the contrary, I see chastity as a very serious expression of love and commitment.
I may be way off here, often am, but as a man, the only thing I can think of that more definitively would demonstrate my love and commitment is to take a literal bullet meant for her; to offer my life in exchange for hers. I think we can all agree there’s a big gap between that example and wearing a cage, but I can’t think of anything else that would go in between those two, for a male. I have this sense I may be a bit blind here, but my gist is valid: wearing Master’s cage is a major sacrifice for me, and I do it for one reason only: to show her beyond all doubt that I am committed to her, that I love her, and that she owns me in every way.
But how I view chastity is not really important. It’s how Master sees it that matters. If it were just a joke, amusement, or game to her, then my sacrifice is pointless. If she ever finds she can’t see the purpose, she shouldn’t feel badly, but she must then immediately release me.
A wife looks to the ring on a husband’s finger and draws comfort that he is wed and promised to her. But that fucker will quickly slip into a pocket when infidelity occurs. It means only that this person made a commitment at some time in the past. It requires no sacrifice to wear and, if ever inconvenient it can be removed quickly. That ring is a hollow symbol because it is not permanent and it demands no sacrifice of the wearer. Chastity is permanent, and that I willingly stay in it with no complaint or request to be released requires significant ongoing sacrifice.
Chastity is more than a symbol, it is an active demonstration, every moment of every day, of my commitment, devotion, and love for my Master.
